Today marks the 30th year of our wedding anniversary.
I cannot believe it has been 30 years since we held hands and said our I do's in my little apartment on the third floor surrounded by our most dearest friends and loved ones.
We married the way we lived life...full of love, life, excitement, holding hands and embracing life as it came.
What was to eventually come, fulfilled our oath beyond reprehension as we spoke those vows many years back as we solemnly swore to love and to hold till death do us part.
After 8 and a half years (you always had a way of making life so easy...to love you, to laugh with you, to have deep conversations with you...and even among your passing you even made the date memorable...is there something about the number 18 that is so monumental? I have to look that up in the numerology books..er..google) I digress, after losing you 8 and a half years ago, this day would bring me to a crumbling mess. Bringing to the forefront not only what pure bliss I had but what life was missing.
The scales were never balanced and were constantly tipped in missing you every step of the way.
My mind knew you were here all along but my heart ached for your earthly companionship and everything it encompassed.
At first, I was wondering how I would survive even a second without you. Pictures of me and you with only me showing signs of my earthly aging. Pictures of me and you and our beautiful children would be only pictures of me with our children as they grow and lead their beautiful lives.
I know fair well that you saw both of our children grow to become the amazing adults they were destined to become. Fulfilling their destinies in this earthly plane this time around. Finding and treasuring the loves of their lives. Becoming and surpassing our wildest dreams for them.
I know you are here as I write this holding my hand in love, tears flowing as the scales are slowly tipping to more of gratitude for everything that we had...the love, the happiness, the laughter, the hopes and dreams and not focusing on the loss. Knowing that it is not Had but still Have.
I'm writing this for me, for you, for our children and for all those that have lost in their lives because we are not unique to this.
Loss is universal...as old as love...as old as time.
Since you left this earthly plane I believe you already know but I have grown with you by my side.
My life has taken the unconventional road much less travelled. The road has taken me to find you in a place that you have never left...right by my side where you have been all along.
To find you and cure the ills of your illness, I have remembered the art of working together with the most delicate but most hardy of our earthly plane in that of the herbal world in all its magnificence.
To find you and understand where is this "place" that you are....I started meditating more and more, Going deeper and deeper in the internal sacred terrain of our souls until we touched once again. By doing so, I could not only connect to your magnificent soul but the souls of others.
To find you I found a deeper understanding of what is important to me at this point in my life.
To find you I found or should I say refound what living in the sacred moment of now and treasuring "it" for all its worth and more.
To find you, I found that we truly never stop growing and life is about evolving into the most glorious versions of ourselves...no matter what side of the veil we reside.
To find you my love I have been stretched out of conventional and into another realm that I never could have comprehended even existed.
This Ode to Love is about the Love that is, has always been and will forever be in every meaning of the word.
In writing this I hope it rings a hint of truth and remembrance to those that have lost, are going through the grieving process and are looking for a glimmer of hope that Love does indeed never die but in fact only gets stronger.
The journey is as individual as love itself. There is no set time for overcoming...because there is nothing to truly overcome. It is a change of perception. A tipping of the scale in the favor of knowing that love is fluid and has no earthly boundaries. The love we have is forever in our hearts and held within our memories and embraced within our Spirit.
Here's to Love
Heres to Joy
Here's to Treasured Memories
Love you with every once of my being yesterday, today, always
***Thank you for taking the time to read this
***If you found value in my words and think they might be of value to someone you know, please feel free to share
***If you would like to know more of what I do, please visit my website at angeltreehealingarts.com